What Breaks My Heart

I had a moment today, a  moment where my heart cried.

It was an early day, I had an appointment at the Chiropractor at 8 so I was up especially early to catch the bus out there (I can never thank Logan's free bus system enough).  On my way home after visiting the office I had just transferred buses at the depot when a lady sitting across the way from me complimented my shoes.  She seemed kinda cool so I struck up a conversation with her.  She was a little older than me and she had the cutest little newborn baby girl with her.  As we chatted she asked me where I was from and I mentioned that I hailed from Salt Lake.  She herself was originally from Pocatello.

I was rather upset at what came next in the conversation "caveat: this is slightly paraphrase":

"Did you like living in Salt Lake or do you prefer it here?  I mean besides the people. because the people here suck...."

I was a little taken aback by that comment and asked her what she meant:

"Well you know, I smoke and everyone around here just gives me the most awful looks all the time."

I felt so horrible for this poor young woman.

It truly breaks my heart when I hear things like this.  It hurts even more when I look back and realize just how often I hear this.  Now whether you think this is a good or bad thing I have a propensity for not coming across as "Mormon".  In some contexts I can see how that could shine down badly on me but most of the time when I hear it I choose to take it as a compliment.  Mainly because a lot of the time what these people usually tell me after that comment is that they don't feel judged or looked down on by me.

Now isn't that how a good LDS saint is supposed to be? So why do so many people associated us with the reverse? Why do we get such a bad rap?  It is precisely because of the kind of people who gave that young woman those looks.

What right do any of us have to make her feel like that?  To place ourselves above her?

"Do not hate me because I sin differently than you."

People make their choices in life and that is their right, we may not agree with their choices but it was theirs and that is their AGENCY.  That trait we all claim to love so much.  How poorly does it shine down upon our heads when so many associate us so negatively?

Just because someone made different choices than you does not mean they deserve your disdain.

Growing up in a..... let's say "colorful" family, I know how deeply these kinds of actions can hurt and scar and drive people away.  And I know how even though they have made mistakes my family is made of some of the most wonderful, loving, and marvelous people I know.

It is not and will NEVER be our place to judge anyone.

So next time you see someone who lives their life in a different manner than you, remember all the mistakes you've made in your life (and i know you have) and try to show a little less judgment and a little more love.

-From My Heart to Yours