What Breaks My Heart

I had a moment today, a  moment where my heart cried.

It was an early day, I had an appointment at the Chiropractor at 8 so I was up especially early to catch the bus out there (I can never thank Logan's free bus system enough).  On my way home after visiting the office I had just transferred buses at the depot when a lady sitting across the way from me complimented my shoes.  She seemed kinda cool so I struck up a conversation with her.  She was a little older than me and she had the cutest little newborn baby girl with her.  As we chatted she asked me where I was from and I mentioned that I hailed from Salt Lake.  She herself was originally from Pocatello.

I was rather upset at what came next in the conversation "caveat: this is slightly paraphrase":

"Did you like living in Salt Lake or do you prefer it here?  I mean besides the people. because the people here suck...."

I was a little taken aback by that comment and asked her what she meant:

"Well you know, I smoke and everyone around here just gives me the most awful looks all the time."

I felt so horrible for this poor young woman.

It truly breaks my heart when I hear things like this.  It hurts even more when I look back and realize just how often I hear this.  Now whether you think this is a good or bad thing I have a propensity for not coming across as "Mormon".  In some contexts I can see how that could shine down badly on me but most of the time when I hear it I choose to take it as a compliment.  Mainly because a lot of the time what these people usually tell me after that comment is that they don't feel judged or looked down on by me.

Now isn't that how a good LDS saint is supposed to be? So why do so many people associated us with the reverse? Why do we get such a bad rap?  It is precisely because of the kind of people who gave that young woman those looks.

What right do any of us have to make her feel like that?  To place ourselves above her?

"Do not hate me because I sin differently than you."

People make their choices in life and that is their right, we may not agree with their choices but it was theirs and that is their AGENCY.  That trait we all claim to love so much.  How poorly does it shine down upon our heads when so many associate us so negatively?

Just because someone made different choices than you does not mean they deserve your disdain.

Growing up in a..... let's say "colorful" family, I know how deeply these kinds of actions can hurt and scar and drive people away.  And I know how even though they have made mistakes my family is made of some of the most wonderful, loving, and marvelous people I know.

It is not and will NEVER be our place to judge anyone.

So next time you see someone who lives their life in a different manner than you, remember all the mistakes you've made in your life (and i know you have) and try to show a little less judgment and a little more love.

-From My Heart to Yours

To Hate or Not to Hate: Is that even a question?

A little while ago a good friend of mine asked me to watch this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdjoHA5ocwU&feature=share

After I spared the little over a minute to watch the campaign video he asked me one simple question: Did I think the video was racist?

I was intrigued by that question and set about pondering on my response. I evaluated the feelings that had come over me as I watched it and i carefully formed my opinion.

I think I'll wait a moment to share it with you :)

Because first I want to let you in on a way of thinking that I have. Now, everyday we are surrounded by people-obviously haha :) - and those people are saying things and doing things and we have no control over what it is they say and do. People form opinions they make comments, they execute actions, all the while we are inundated with this information and through it we form our own opinions, make our own comments, and execute our own actions.

Now there are many ways to process all this information but to me it boils down to a very simple truth: we may not choose what people say and do, but we do get to choose how the things people say and do will affect us.

With that in mind we can also come to discover that you can find any kind of meaning in anything if you are looking for it. So to explain, if you want to hate someone then it's possible to find something to hate them for in anything they do despite what their intentions might actually be. Likewise, if you want to love someone you can find a reason to love them in anything they do, again, despite what their intentions might be.

So what does that mean for us? It means we have a hard challenge to face. You see in my personal opinion we should always strive to interpret what people do and say based on what their intentions are not on what we want to see them as. Yet, barring having a close personal relationship with them that allows you to actually know their intentions-or the ever popular mind reading option which if you are particularly gifted at please give me a call ;)- it can be difficult to know what someones true intentions are.

This is the point where I have a tiny aneurysm and writhe on the floor in my confusion and pain....... and then  after a few quiet words of comfort to my poor conflicted self I pick myself up and figure out a solution.  So here's how I see it.  In life we have to make judgements to a certain degree.  It's part of making decisions and analyzing situations.  We rarely ever are blessed with all the facts and even more rarely with all the perspectives of a case so we do the best we can based on what we have.  But here comes the key: do not mistakenly project your feelings.

There a many different ways in which we do this:

1) We dislike some of the decisions a person had made in the past and automatically hyperinflation those few poor decisions into a judgement of their entire character and suddenly every thing they do and say must be taken in as bad a way as you can think of. (such as in the case of this video)

2) Upon first meeting someone they may do one small thing that was displeasing to you and suddenly you color everything they do with a tone of distaste.

3) Experiences of the past cause you to project your negative feelings of people who were once cruel to you upon others who remind you of them which prevents you from seeing these new people for who they truly are.

People are a myriad of complex emotions and decision making processes.  It can be difficult to pick them apart and make heads or tails of what they mean, but neither should we simply jump to the negative.  You can make a simple judgement when necessary but leave your heart open to change.  Give humanity some wiggle room because we all know we've been on the giving and the receiving end of many of the scenarios above and no one's is perfect.  We need not be overly trusting but neither should we be overly critical.

So to come full circle I'll share my simple feelings on the video above.  Yes, he did not choose the best wording and it could easily be taken in an offensive manner.  Yes, there were probably a myriad of different ways he could have approached the situation.  But is this video racist? No i do not think it is.  Yes it can be taken that way but based on the knowledge I have at my hands right now I choose to believe that that was not his INTENTION.  So I choose not to be offended.

After all, if I took offense at every little comment that could possibly be construed that way I would be a pretty pissed off person.

But frankly I love life way too much to waste any of it going down that road ;)

-From My Heart To Yours

Light

It's been awhile since I've posted here, sorry for the slacking :) Life's been crazy, what with me running off to China and then Japan and having to keep up with my other blog (if you haven't seen it, go ahead and give it a glance at http://aworldofamillioncolors.blogspot.com), but today, here I sat thinking and pondering over the last few months and I realized that it was time for me to get back to sharing with all of you.

So today I want to talk about potential. That special light that is inside of each of us. The one we tend to hide, or maybe not even see.

As I've grown throughout my life I've come to realize one simple truth. You are the master of your own destiny; you determine the confines of your life. No matter what people say, what happens to you, or how crappy life gets; your life is in your hands. No one CAN do it for you, and no one WILL do it for you.

Life is hard; you will be beaten down, knocked over, and bruised up. You will be teased, yelled at, and ridiculed. I'm not going to tell you that everything is going to be OK, because frankly some times it won't. Some days I wake up and all I can think about is how I just want everything to stop hurting so bad.

LIFE SUCKS! Right? who's ever thought that to themselves? And don't you dare lie to me!

But in it's infinite suckage, that is where we are able to truly appreciate how much.... it doesn't suck. Think about it this way: If you had never felt anything but the cold your entire life, if you had never felt the suns rays on you, how could you ever really know what it was like to be warm?

So now I come to my point. You have the potential to transcend every boundary, every obstacle, every trial that is thrust in your way. You can CHOOSE to be happy, to look on the bright side, to find that light inside you. You can CHOOSE to let that potential out, to show it to the world, and to let everyone know who you are. Don't hide behind your insecurities, your uncertainties, your fears. Don't let the fear of failure stop you from trying. Reach out, reach up, and feel the sun on your face.

YOU. ARE. AMAZING!

You are a gift to this world; don't hide it. Don't fear it. Cherish it. Develop it. Own it.

Life was meant to be LIVED. So go out there and LIVE IT.

-From My Heart To Yours